What Christians Need to Know About Dark Triad Personality Traits
Over the last few years, we’ve watched one major church leader after another fall.
With many of them, the warning signs were there. We heard murmurings. We heard grumblings. But the detractors were quickly silenced. They quietly left, and then they were disdained when they started “deconstructing” their faith. This seemed to just prove that they had been in the wrong and hadn’t loved Jesus like the leader had. After all, they weren’t charismatic. They didn’t have the right look. They didn’t bring in money.
In short, they were expendable.
The problem is, we have been promoting and siding with the wrong people. And we continue to do so, despite the soul destruction, despite people leaving the church in droves. And when people leave the church, we blame them. We become complicit in gaslighting and blame-shifting.
God’s people are being deceived by people with dark triad personality traits. There is such a spirit of confusion and chaos right now, and we are being destroyed for lack of knowledge (Hosea 4:6).
What Is the Dark Triad?
Dark Triad personality traits include narcissism, Machiavellianism, and psychopathy. We will use 2 Timothy 3:1-5 to talk about the Dark Triad in biblical terms.
2 Timothy 3:1-5 says, “But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God—having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people.”
It is important to recognize that we all have some Dark Triad tendencies, and to learn to accept and integrate these parts of ourselves under the leadership of the Holy Spirit, rather than pretending they’re not part of us. But more about that later.
This is a pretty good description of how the Dark Triad can manifest in church leadership, using terms from the 2 Timothy passage:
Narcissism
Lovers of themselves, boastful, proud, abusive
Machiavellianism
Lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, not lovers of the good
Psychopathy
Disobedient, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, treacherous, rash, conceited
Narcissism
Narcissism is characterized by grandiosity. These people are self-important and are very good at convincing others of their importance. We love to promote grandiose people and give them platforms. In times of fear, we are reassured by people who see things in black and white and are overconfident in their version of reality and vision for the future. They may be wrong, but the fact that they don’t think they could possibly be wrong gives people around them a false sense of safety. If I just align myself with this person, if I just agree with them, I will be okay, I will be safe.
Until we displease the leader or fall out of favor with them. Then we are discarded and counted as worthless.
Machiavellianism
Machiavellianism is pragmatism taken to its extreme. With Machiavellianism, the ends always justify the means. It is not immoral; it is amoral (which can be even more frightening). It is not a question of what is right or wrong or who might be hurt along the way; it is simply a question of how they are able to get what they want: money, power, sex, etc.
People high in Machiavellian traits are one reason we need righteous, healthy systems, not just righteous, healthy individuals. Good systems can help use Machiavellian tendencies for good. As W. Edwards Deming famously said, “A bad system will beat a good person every time.” I would argue the opposite is often true too: a good system will also beat a bad person.
If the system around them rewards altruistic traits and punishes selfishness, Machiavellians will help others. If the system truly rewards honesty and punishes cheating, Machiavellians will be as honest as they come. Because it’s all about getting what they want.
Psychopathy
This is the most extreme of the Dark Triad. Psychopaths genuinely enjoy inflicting harm and seeing people suffer. Many psychopaths end up in prison, but others are famous leaders or sitting on boards or the heads of PTAs.
A psychopath might seduce someone, get access to their money, and drain their bank account, just for the fun of it. They get more kicks out of causing harm to the person than gaining the money. Taken to the extreme, a psychopath might found a cult just to see how many people follow them, cut off connections with loved ones, debase themselves, and even perhaps finally commit suicide for the cult leader’s sake.
Narcissists and Machiavellians in church leadership are probably far more common than psychopaths. But I wouldn’t rule them out, especially in some of the more fringe groups that “kind of” qualify as Christian.
A Time for Self-Examination
The American Church has been promoting many people to the highest pulpits who are lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, and lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God.
But one thing we tend to forget when these people fall: We’re the ones who put them there!
What is happening, that we are able to read the Bible, love Jesus, clearly read what the Bible says about what is good and what is bad, and yet still turn a blind eye to these people? If we really know what Jesus is like, and if we really love him so much, why do we keep promoting people who don’t act much like him? For example, the Bible says that charm is deceitful (Proverbs 31) and gives plenty of examples of charismatic leaders running their people off a cliff, while humble, “less impressive” leaders actually lead people to green pastures and still waters—yet we still overlook the good shepherds in favor of wolves.
One would think the church as a whole would be facing a reckoning: We have promoted these people. We have encouraged this culture. We must take some time for reflection as the Body of Christ. We must change what we value and promote.
But while this has been happening in certain pockets (and in many good people who have quietly slipped away and given up on the idea of the church altogether), unfortunately the “system” still seems content to use both disgraced leaders and deconstructing “ex-vangelicals” as scapegoats and try to keep going with business as usual.
The fact is, right now, our culture continues to produce, value, and promote these types of leaders. And the Church, rather than being a force for change, is a microcosm of what is happening in the broader culture.
We Are Sitting Ducks
Churches are a predator’s dream. We prioritize being “nice” so much that we are an ideal hunting ground for anyone high in Dark Triad personality traits who wants to easily rise to a leadership position and quickly gain trust without having to truly earn it.
In the devotional While Shepherds Watch Their Flocks, Timothy Laniak describes how most believers are sheep who couldn’t and wouldn’t hurt another sheep except by accident.
Then there are the watchdogs. The prophets. They’re a little different. They’ve often become more acquainted with the ways of darkness than they ever cared to, simply through painful life experiences. It is a gift of God, and yet it is a gift they sometimes wish they didn’t have. And they try to use this knowledge to protect the sheep. Because the fact is, most people are oblivious to predators lurking in their midst. Like Jesus says in Luke 16:8, “The people of this world are more shrewd in dealing with their own kind than are the people of the light.”
In the shepherding world, the stealthiest thieves know: To steal the sheep, you first have to kill the dogs. Otherwise, they will bark, the shepherd will wake up, the sheep will freak out, and the game is over. This is why prophets constantly come under spiritual attack—especially from people with Dark Triad personality traits.
Once the watchdogs are gone, no one is there to bark when all the sheep are stolen.
Unfortunately, what we run into is the same thing Israel ran into in the Old Testament: the prophets are silenced, ridiculed, and ostracized by both wolves and sheep alike, because they’re speaking truths no one wants to hear. False prophets, on the other hand, say what everyone wants to hear and end up leading the sheep straight into the arms of the wolf.
So What Is the Answer?
“Good Christians” Must Get in Touch with Their Own Dark Sides
This might sound really counterintuitive and even un-Christian to some, but bear with me.
How did Jesus cast out sin?
He first took it on. He looked it square in the eyes, saw it for what it was, and was willing to take it on rather than running away or pretending it didn’t exist. John 2:25 says Jesus knew all that was in the hearts of man: the good, the bad, and the ugly.
Dark and light are two sides of the same coin. The flip side of every person’s greatest strength is their greatest weakness, their Achilles heel. It is important to remember that, like C.S. Lewis writes in The Screwtape Letters, the devil cannot create, he can only twist. So it’s important to ask yourself what good desires and needs you have that could lead to dark actions if they’re not met in healthy ways. For example:
Approval > People Pleasing or Dishonesty
Belonging > Insincerity, Flattery, or Ostracism of Others
Love > Pride, Arrogance
Influence > Power-Hungriness, Greed
Success > Stepping on Others to Get Ahead, “Ends Justify the Means” Thinking
Self-Actualization > Self-Centeredness
Fun > Laziness, Lack of Discipline, Addiction
These are all good things that can potentially turn dark if blown out of proportion or met in unhealthy ways. Where are your blind spots? In your life, where could your own pain or perception of lack lead you to try to chase these desires in the wrong ways? This is another way to apply the wisdom of Luke 16:8. When we recognize the Dark Triad traits within ourselves, we will be more equipped to recognize them out in the world.
We Must Promote People Who Act Like Jesus and Who Recognize Their Own Dark Sides
When leaders lose touch with their own dark sides, that is usually when they fall. When they fail to see the darkness within them, that is when they are most vulnerable to being consumed by it. And unfortunately, the very people who are most drawn to surround “leaders” and “influencers” are the kinds of people most likely to kiss up and not help them face their dark sides with truth, grace, and love.
Leaders who have not confronted their dark sides and brought them under the authority of True Self and ultimately Spirit end up splitting their souls in two, so that one hand literally doesn’t know what the other is doing (but not in a good way). It is easier to pretend that their dark side doesn’t exist, to let it come out when not in the public eye (so that powerless/voiceless people, or those at home, usually bear the brunt). And we tend to promote this kind of behavior because we are so obsessed with image and the appearance of perfection over true self-awareness. We don’t want leaders with flaws—even though those are the only kinds of earthly leaders available to us.
Proverbs 11:14 says that in a multitude of counselors there is safety. However, what we forget is that the most important part of this verse isn’t the “multitude” but rather the “counselors.” And how can you be a true counselor if you just like being close to the leader so you can get ahead? If you just want to look good by being near them? If you are a “yes” man rather than God’s man?
And yet, unfortunately, it is often the “yes” men, the people who don’t care about truly knowing the leader but merely having the appearance of being close to them, who are often in the leader’s “inner circle.” Around these kinds of people, it is very easy for a leader to disown and deny their dark side rather than confronting it. And when they fall, their fall affects so many other people than just them.
Embrace the Dark, Despise the Shame
As Hebrews 12:2 says, Jesus despised the shame of the cross. Many of us, when we try to look at our own dark sides, get bogged down in shame. We get stuck in introspection and rumination. But Jesus courageously resisted such stuckness, knowing that seeing and confronting the full reality and weight of sin was the only way to gain dominion over it and get to the joy and glory on the other side. And he was “the first among many brothers” (Romans 8:29) who are called to follow in his footsteps.
Sometimes we’re reluctant to see the evil in others because it means seeing the evil in ourselves. And we live in such an “us vs. them,” “all-or-nothing” culture that we don’t know how to see the evil in either ourselves or others without getting consumed by hate and failing to see the good. We can’t see our own narcissism or Machiavellianism because that would mean we deserve destruction like that famous pastor!
But this naivete is our undoing. We are destroyed for lack of knowledge.
The more you are able to honestly acknowledge your own narcissistic, Machiavellian, and psychopathic traits, and not condemn yourself but rather question them, get curious about where they come from and what stories they’re holding, and invite the Holy Spirit in, the less you will be a sitting duck, the more humble you will be, AND the more you will be able to recognize these traits in others! You’ll be able to make conscious choices and responses to your own desires, cravings, and urges, because you’re not trying to stuff them out of view but rather confronting them with radical honesty and grace. You will know who not to trust or follow while also not despising or condemning them. Remember, “There but for the grace of God go I.” Any one of us could have been consumed by Dark Triad personality traits, given the right environment and choices.
The more you are in touch with your own dark side, the less internal splitting you have, and the more integrated you are, the more successful you will be in your interactions with dark triad personalities. You won’t be easy prey, and you’ll even be able to help protect others.
Listen to the Inconvenient Voices
One thing about watchdogs and prophets: they are often so inconvenient!
They speak up at the worst times, right when everyone else is basking in prosperity and looking forward to many peaceful years to come. Right when we think we’ve made it, that we’re on top! No one wants to hear that perhaps the pastor molested a minor when the church has been growing like crazy, people have been getting baptized, the building debt has been paid off—and so many good things have been happening! You wouldn’t want all that to stop, right?
If you ever listen to The Rise and Fall of Mars Hill podcast by Christianity Today, you’ll hear some of the confusion from people who were under Mark Driscoll’s leadership. For some who weren’t that close to him, all they saw was the good that was happening: the marriages being restored, the people getting set free, the baptisms. This is when evil is most effective: when it’s intermingled with good. It causes confusion and becomes a LOT more difficult to spot. And people are reluctant to call it out because they don’t want to destroy the good things that are happening along with the bad.
But this is when it’s most crucial to speak out, because this is when evil can most easily hide. It will only get worse later down the line, and it’s much better to be pruned down to a stump than for the good to be completely destroyed later on, once all the bad comes to light.
Signs You Could Be Getting Led Astray by a Dark Triad Personality
If they were all bad, we’d recognize them immediately. Dark triad personality types last in church leadership because they do just enough good to keep people wondering, to keep people thinking maybe they’re the crazy ones who aren’t seeing things clearly. Personally, I have been taken on lavish dates by people in the dark triad. They’ve helped me move in. They’ve stayed up on the phone with me, supporting me in a time of need. They’ve constantly opened their homes and cooked for people. They do just enough good to keep you confused.
So here are some signs to help you spot them in church leadership:
It’s their way or the highway—but they insist their way is really God’s way.
Good biblical teachers will present well-rounded interpretations of difficult passages. They’ll let you know how different streams of Christianity interpret Scripture, and then they’ll explain how they came to their conclusion. But they won’t act like everyone who sees it differently isn’t a Christian or isn’t as smart as they are. This is surprisingly difficult to see, though, because they are very good at convincing the congregation that their viewpoint is God’s viewpoint.
People feel connected and loyal to them, but not to each other.
Everyone talks about how much they admire the pastor, but you don’t see people praising and cultivating those same traits in each other. Instead, people are disempowered. It’s all about serving and empowering the leader’s vision, and everyone else just exists for that purpose. People are becoming less fully actualized, unique humans, not more so. Again, it’s difficult to spot at the time, because the leader is so good at convincing people they’re carrying out God’s will, not theirs.
They take special interest in new, influential people who come in.
If someone wealthy or well-connected comes into the church, the leader makes a beeline for them. They take them out to lunch. They make sure to find some kind of leadership position for them, overlooking others who have been faithfully serving for years. Suddenly this new person is given power and authority without earning it through building trust over time, because their mere presence in the church makes the leader look good.
They always have the answers.
They rarely admit they could be wrong (unless it serves to make them look magnanimous, gracious, and superior toward another person who is challenging them). Rather than empowering others to search the Scriptures or confer amongst themselves for answers, they subtly encourage people to just keep going to them. They become a superior mouthpiece of God, rather than having the mindset that they are just one mouthpiece among many equally valuable mouthpieces. They love talking and rarely truly listen.
A Call for Reflection and Responsibility
The downfall of influential church leaders isn’t just the fault of those individuals. It's a collective responsibility. We, as a church, have often failed to see the warning signs, ignored the voices of those who tried to speak up, and allowed toxic personalities to rise to the top. It’s easy to be drawn to powerful, charismatic figures who make bold claims and promise clarity in a world of uncertainty. But it’s crucial to remember that real leadership in the church is about humility, integrity, and a willingness to serve others, not just dominate them.
The Church needs to take a long, hard look at the systems that allow these Dark Triad traits to flourish unchecked. We need to promote leaders who embody Christ’s love, not those who seek power, fame, or wealth. We need to create environments where people can hold each other accountable, where leaders are truly invested in the well-being of the congregation, and where voices of dissent are welcomed, not silenced.
It is time for self-examination, not just as individuals, but as a collective body. We must acknowledge our own dark sides, be vigilant in spotting these traits in others, and act with integrity. Jesus calls us to confront the darkness with courage, to heal rather than to ignore. The church cannot continue to sweep these issues under the rug and pretend that everything is okay. We are called to be the light in a dark world, and that starts by addressing the darkness within our own ranks.
In the end, change begins with us—each of us, individually and together. As we recognize and confront these destructive forces, we can begin to foster a healthier, more loving church, one that mirrors the true heart of Christ, not the dangerous allure of power and prestige.
